adventures of a wild one called sidney cruz

So this is my point, I am a bi-sexual chick predominantly attracted to females, and somewhat attracted to men, whatever.
My point is that although I have emotional desire to be with someone of the same-sex
I have chosen not date girls, you’re all cute and gorgeous, but frankly I feel I am a coward for hiding my nature, I have less courage to go out there and approach a beautiful female and ask her out or simply talk to one whom maybe interested.
Simply gave up all hope to ask girls, I don’t see me ugly or anything, is just difficult to be “open” to myself and mum and dad.
I have chosen not date you girls, I don’t want to make your life miserable bc I wouldn’t show affection/ love in public bc I’m afraid of what everyone would say, yet I don’t deny my nature. But I won’t go out dating guys either just because I feel I’m betraying a girl I like.
I’m 19 years old, is this Normal?